The Gang Cancel The Avengers
by Drew Gars
Summary: Following several failed attempts to take responsibility for the Wolf Cola scandal, the gang decide to fight back against online outrage by hunting down Captain America and his team and deliver them to the authorities in order to clear their names. But little do they know, their mission begins to spiral out of control when they unknowingly get involved into an intergalactic war.


Hello. This is the first fanfic I ever written. I did the best that I can writing this. So, I hope you like it.

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**In case your wondering when does this take place, this fanfic takes place during season 12 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and before then during Avengers: Infinity War, which will eventually lead to Avengers: Endgame.**

**Note: I do not own It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Marvel's Avengers. All those rights mainly go to the Walt Disney Company, 20th Television and FX Productions.**

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**Chapter 1: It's Time to Take a Stand**

Paddy's Pub. Nighttime.

Inside, Dennis, Dee and Frank were at the corner of the bar watching TV with the news on, reporting on their recent failed attempt to take responsibility for the damage Frank had done when he mistakenly made Wolf Cola the official drink of Boko Haram, the terrorist group. There first attempt ended in disaster when Dee apologized and Frank made-up stories to sympathize with Boko Haram for business, then in their second attempt, Dennis was the one who screwed up and made it even worse when he went on a long rant against dogs.

A news anchor on TV: **"The nationwide hatred for Wolf Cola continues to intensify on an hourly basis..."**

"**Holy shit, we're getting hammered worse than before."**, said Dennis.

"**Bye-bye, Frank's Fluids."**, Frank mumbled.

"**Turns out there are two things that can't be forgiven: raping children and disliking dogs."**, said Dee.

"**Well, what am I gonna do with all the merchandise, man?"**, said Charlie as he and Mac were walking into the room with their Fight Milk products.

"**Throw it in the garbage, burn it. Who gives a shit?"**, said Mac.

"**Yeah, we're done. Fight Milk shit the bed."**, said Charlie as he puts the box on the table. Mac throws his hat into the box.

"**What happened?"**, Frank asked.

Just as Mac was about to explain, the news interrupted. It was Chet Wallum, the news anchor that Dennis, Dee and Frank were being interviewed by in their second interview.

Chet (on TV): **"Breaking news from the sports world. Fighters at a UFC event in Philly tested positive for several banned substances, stemming from an energy drink called Fight Milk."**

"**We pumped it full of human growth hormone, you know. I mean, just nothing else was working. It just... it was just giving people diarrhea."**, Charlie explained.

Chet (on TV) continued, **"Starting to become known as the official drink of the UFC, this Fight Milk is a serious smudge for the group, and a potential public relations nightmare."**

There was a sense of relief in the air from Dennis. It was like the Wolf Cola scandal never happened.

"**Holy shit! Holy shit! You guys, this is good. This is good. We're freed, and they are screwed. See, this is actually the one good thing about the 24-hour news cycle. If you give it enough time, something new will come along to replace peoples' old outrage with new outrage."**, Dennis said with excitement. It was like a big weight was lifted.

…too bad that didn't last long…

Chet (on TV) continued with the report, **"Not much is known about Fight Milk, except that it's made right here in Philadelphia by a parent company known as Frank's Fluids."**

"**Goddamn it!"**, Frank exclaimed.

We were back to where we started. The world against us once again. The trolls are not gonna stop. Guess that's the world we live in.

"**Start the clock."**, said Dee.

"**Yeah."**, said Dennis.

Dennis walked to the other side of bar counter to reset the 24 hour clock. Just as he was about to restart it, a thought came to his head. I thought that said: How long can we keep doing this? How many times can the internet to be mad at our mistakes and when we make up for our mistakes, we only for us to screw up again, and again, and again, and again? This cycle was never going to end. It was time to take a stand.

Dennis moved his hand away from the clock and places them on the counter. **"No."**, he said.

The gang turned to him and said **"What?"** in unison.

"**Just… no…"**, Dennis continued.

"**What are you talking about?"**, Frank questioned. The gang walked to the bar counter and sat on the benches to listen to what Dennis was talking about.

**"I mean, no. I-I can't keep doing this. You know, I'm not gonna go through all this shit again just so I can screw up again and have the internet be mad at me. It's time to stop." **Dennis stated.

The gang nodded their heads and said **"yeah."** in agreement.

"**It's time to take a stand."** Dennis said.

The gang shouted **"Yeah!"**

"**A stand against the internet. A stand against outrage culture." **Dennis said.

The gang yelled out a big **"YEAH!" **in excitement.

He was right. We can't keep up this cycle over and over again. It's time to fight just in that moment, Dee chimed in.

"**I just have one question, how are we going to do that?"** she said.

The excitement stop. Dee was right. They didn't know how to fight back against online outrage. The gang started to think of a way on how they should fight back. There was nothing but silence for a moment until Mac finally broke it.

"**I got it! We go out and find some chump who actually deserves it. Someone who did so much worse than us."**, Mac replied.

Dee and Frank nodded and said **"yeah!" **and Dennis agreed.** "That could work. That could work"**, he said.

It was settled. In order to get rid of the outrage against them, they just have to find somebody who actually deserves the outrage for what they did worse than they did. Only question is who?

"**Now, all we gotta do is find a chump."**, said Dennis. Dennis then looked around and stops to notice Charlie missing. **"Hey, where's Charlie?"**, he said. The gang looked around to see where Charlie went until Mac noticed him in the corner watching TV. Mac called out to him, **"Oh Charlie, there you are. What are doing over there?"**

"**Hey guys, get over here. You gotta check this out."**, Charlie said.

Confused, the gang got up and walked to the TV to see what was getting Charlie's attention.

Chet (on TV): **"Breaking news from the online world, a viral video has been shared all over social media that contains a sighting of wanted fugitive Steve Rogers, known by many as Captain America."**

The news cuts to the video. It shows a man being mugged by a group of thugs in an alley. The area seemed to be somewhere in Europe. Just as the man was pushed into the group, a figure wearing a darkened suit lands on the group and proceeds to fight the thugs. One thug get punched in the face and kicked to the ground out cold. The other thug pulled out a knife and tried to stab the figure from behind, but the figure kick slides him to the ground and punches the thug unconscious.

The gang was shocked and amazed by they saw. **"Whoa!"**, Mac said, followed by Frank saying **"Holy shit."**. The video continues as it shows the remaining thugs flee from the scene, only to be kicked to the ground by a dark skinned man gliding in with mechanical wings. **"Oooh!"**, the gang shouted in surprise. The news cut back to Chet.

Chet (on TV) continued: **"He and a few other Avengers, Sam Wilson aka The Falcon, Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow and Wanda Maximoff aka Scarlett Witch, went on the run after refusing to participate in the ****Sokovia ****Accords regulation and aiding another wanted fugitive, James Buchanan Barnes aka The Winter Soldier, who had been framed for the murder of Wakanda King, T'Chaka…"**

As the television played, the gang soon turned to each other's faces with enthusiastic looks. They knew the minute saw that video, an idea popped in their heads.

"**Are you think what I'm thinking?"**, Dennis said.

"**Yeah, we videotape ourselves saving people."**, Mac said.

"**What? No."**, Dennis refuted. Mac gave a disappointed look. Dennis continued, **"I'm talking about we go out, find Captain America, capture him and then bring him back to the states so we can give him to the feds and in exchange for his arrest…"**

Mac finished his sentence when he realized what his idea was leading to, "…**they help us out of our jam. Holy shit! That's a great idea."**

Dee halted their excitement (again) of the idea with this observation, **"Hold on, wait a second, you're talking about going out to make a citizen's arrest against physically altered super solider who probably kick all our asses."**

Charlie chimed in with another observation, **"Uh, plus there's also the thing of he has the other Avengers on his side and they have super powers and we're just ordinary people."**

The gang stopped to think. They were right. How is a group of ordinary people from Philly gonna take on a group of super powered beings? Then Frank jumped in.

"**I got it! Let's set up a meeting with the Secretary."**, Frank said. The rest of gang all said **"huh?"** and gave a confused looked when they heard it. Frank continued, **"We set up a meeting, pitch our idea to him, he loves it and he'll hook us up with the proper gear to take them down."**

**"Well, how are we gonna do that, Frank?"**, Dee asked.

**"I got contacts in the government. All I gotta do is make the call, schedule the meeting and boom, we're in business.",** Frank explained.

The gang said **"Oh."** and nodded in agreement. The gang begin talking about how they're gonna pull it off while Dennis rushed to the back office and then came back out with a bottle of wine and 5 wine glasses heading back to the corner where the gang was. He passed each of them a wine glass and kept one to himself. He then opened up the wine bottle and poured wine to each of their glasses with Dennis being the last.

**"What's this for?"**, Frank questioned.

**"This is for us. I'd say we propose a toast... to our new scheme.", **Dennis stated. **"Oh"**, Frank said. The gang was excited. They're actually gonna take on the Avengers... well, Captain America's group of Avengers. Dennis continued, **"Gentleman, a toast... to the plan." **The gang raised their glasses up.** "Hell, yeah"**, said Mac, followed by Dee saying, **"Amen."**, Frank saying, **"Cheers." **and Charlie said**, "Alright, alright, alright ."** like Matthew McConaughey. Dennis finished,** "Alright, that settles it. Captain America is canceled." **The gang toasted their drinks together. Now that the plan was layout, it was time to set everything in motion.

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That's it. That was the end of the first chapter. Let me know if you like it or not. I'll be happy to continue working on it.


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